Marry the job you love or love the job you marry. Chan Chun Sing’s marriage analogy irks netizens.

Instead of searching for meaning in all that they do in life, it is more important for students to give meaning to their pursuits, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Office Chan Chun Sing said on Wednesday (May 3) to graduating students from Temasek Polytechnic.

Mr Chan urged the students to change their perspective when it comes to achieving their goals in life and to do justice to the job they do instead of searching for the perfect job. And he used the analogy of a marriage.

“Is it more important to marry the woman you love, or to love the woman you marry?” is the question.

“Which is more important” implies that they are both important but one is more important than the other.

It’s about idealism, expectations and reality.

A marriage begins with marrying the woman you consider your ideal. The love of your life. Someone who gives meaning to your existence.

And you have great expectations of your marriage. Sometimes those expectations fall short and the marriage starts to disappoint. That’s when reality sets in.

You can choose to make your marriage work by loving the woman you marry despite disappointments. That’s an attitude. That’s when you begin to give new meanings to all that you do because you now have different goals. And because you choose to give meanings to all that you do, you may even find yourself loving what you do. Ha!

So, you marry the woman you love, but for the marriage to work, you have to love the woman you marry.

Of course few people enter a job the way they enter a marriage – with great passion.

Some might have found what they thought to be the ideal job with the ideal employer – like Google. And you begin your job with great expectations.

Some may find their idealism very quickly shattered by reality – the environment, the culture, the people etc.

What do you do then? Do you ‘do justice to your job’ by executing it in a manner that reflects your abilities or do you feel unmotivated to do your best?

The attitude we bring to our workplace will determine how long we can last in the workplace and whether we can make a success of it.

Sometimes no matter how much you try, it just does not work. You dread going to work every day.

Then you opt out.

Hey, no one says you cannot quit your job and look for another one. No one says you ‘die die have to stay in the same job no matter how boring it is’. But at least you know you have tried and given it your best shot before you call it quits. You have given yourself a chance to make it work before you quit. You’ve been fair to yourself and to the opportunity you were given.

Like a marriage can still fall apart and ends in divorce after one has tried hard to make it work, if you have no motivation left, then get that divorce from your job.

So, really, no need to be irked by the analogy of a marriage. It’s not a perfect analogy but you get the idea.

And I found the ‘ideal’ comment that I love…




A rambling homemaker dreaming of a better world and sharing her 2-cents worth.

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